The "I" Word
The “I” Word
As many of us know, we all go through seasons of deep refinement and pruning, as John 15 illuminates. Well, for the past three months, I have not been able to stray from the prophetic literature within the Old Testament. While I love the prophetic literature throughout Scripture and it aligned with my heart’s cry for the Church, it didn’t seem to align with my internal struggles. Throughout this past month, I began really wrestling with the Lord, crying out and asking Him to reveal my purpose and the direction for my life, genuinely feeling unseen, unknown, and misplaced. My thoughts and my emotional state left me feeling like the black sheep of the group, however, still knowing that I have an incredible tribe of people who love and surround me, encouraging me to use the unique voice God has given me. It seems like an oxymoron, right? Well… it sure feels that way for me too.
However, the Spirit revealed the misalignment of my focus; rather than simply coming to Him for fulfillment, he graciously revealed that I was still seeking approval and fulfillment through the affirmations of people. Thus, I compromised my identity in Him by trying to strive to heal the wounds of my past through the approval of others. By now, you’ve probably concluded that this is an identity issue, and you’re right. But how do we grow in our identity in Him?
To me, the answer is a word that is sometimes plagued in the American church because it could make people uncomfortable. It’s the “I” word—intimacy. Now where I stand, it comes as no surprise to me that the Lord has me camping out in the book of Hosea as well as Isaiah. Scripture is so profound, and one of the loudest messages throughout it shouts that Jesus is our Bridegroom—our Husband.
In Isaiah 54:5 it says, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name…”
Hosea 2:16 says, “And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer call me ‘My Master…’”
Additionally, Isaiah 62:5, which has been a profound chapter for this season the church is in, states, “…And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.”
Can you hear it? Can you perceive it? (See? Just chilling with Isaiah—Isaiah 40) The Lord Jesus longs to be seen through intimacy with Him as the Bridegroom. You may be someone who’s reading this and wincing, but we, the global Church, are His bride! If that makes you uncomfortable, lovingly I say, it’s time to place those fears and reservations aside and pursue intimacy with Him. However, it’s dangerous when we view intimacy with Him as transactional; meaning we cannot simply view our time with Him selfishly. We cannot simply be in it for our own personal gain or blessing.
I love Bill Johnson’s perspective on this subject. He says, “It is possible for us to engage the person of the Holy Spirit so that we can be used in ministry, instead of, engaging the person of the Holy Spirit because we want deep relationship. If you engage with the Holy Spirit because you want to merely be effective in ministry then you’re developing professional intimacy. And what do we call people who are intimate as a profession?” I’m sure we can all fill in the blank and answer His question. The difference is a shift in focus from self, to being single-focused on the One who truly matters—our Bridegroom King.
This word is for today and is meant to stir and encourage us to engage with the Bridegroom Jesus in deeper intimacy. May we be a people that long to truly KNOW Him, not simply know about Him.
I want to encourage you today. When you can’t seem to move forward, or you’re plagued with toxic thought patterns, ask God to help you. Cry out to Him and ask Him to reveal your next step (big or small). The Good Father is faithful to answer the cries of His children.
To build intimacy, get alone with Him daily. He is our daily bread from heaven. While we can partake and should keep our focus on Him throughout the day, it’s important to give Him our undivided attention. I challenge you to sit with Him—before you open your Bible (which we should all do!), before you turn on music, before anything—let Him speak to you. Ask Him what He says about you. Ask Him what He wants you to pray and intercede for. Ask Him if there’s anything He wants to talk to you about.
He is faithful to speak, and He is the Bridegroom waiting for the “yes” of His bride to come running to Him alone. I end with the simple cry of my heart: Jesus you are worthy of my time, my love and affection, and my whole life.
All my love,
Anya McMahon